First try

Today is hard. 

I’m afraid of losing so much of who I am as a result of this impending separation. Which is scary, since I feel like I’ve lost myself in this relationship. I honestly don’t know myself anymore, and that is scary. 

I will miss her so much. She is my best friend, the best I’ve ever had. I also miss whoever I am. 

This all sucks so fucking much. 

But. 

This is a real opportunity to heal. To discover what might bring me joy, meaning, happiness. It can’t just be about living to support someone else. Especially if they never asked you to do that. 

I’m just waiting to take that first step on a long and scary journey. The waiting is brutal. 

I’m really going to miss her. 

Cue the fucking tears. 

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